MY READING
By Hannah Tebbett

As I stepped onto that train, that fine Thursday morning, I had no idea what to expect, I was…A Festival Virgin! By the end of those hallowed days I was ready to do it all again….

Day one, the one where people go to a field pitch a tent, get very bored, do some drugs…walk to town and carry back obscene amounts of alcohol…on their shoulders and generally look manly…but very tired….

We arrived, walking through the campsite gates was pretty informal .it seemed easy for people to slip in…(as proved by Trip later that day).. We had been following Jack and Will (We being me, best mate Kim, Morgan, my friends- Phil, Steve (of armband fame) and Rob…all some of the soundest dudes alive) from the station but they sped off into oblivion shouting…                WE MUST GET BY THE FARMHOUSE!!                So…we lowly festy virgins were left in the middle of Reading, with nothing but instinct to guide us….

Luckily reading on this Thursday was crawling with lowlife scum we affectionately call…festival goers…following them was an easy task….

Once in we walked up that stretch of stalls…Morgan exclaiming at “all the pretty bongs”…we saw a grassy knoll…. the area seemed respectable enough…with the help of experienced camper Kim we had our tents pitched in less than 15 mins, with an area marked out and reserved for the imminent arrival of Morgan’s college mates. Matt and Mark…and some guy Dan and all…

All seemed well…the sun was shining the grass looked good for snoozing on…

Now it gets a bit hazy from here on in…but basically Jack finds us and tells us of the hallowed place…the pitch by the farmhouse…where he and his clan were based…

Not wanting Morgan to feel alone and bewildered among me and my scary friends I was willing to move our camp…the others came around to the idea eventually…. So, in true larryish fashion we just slung the tents over our shoulders and waltzed further into the bosom of the festival…

Passing food outlets along the way we entered the field which was to be our final home…

At camp “Jack” there were people we knew from our college as well as the usual clan…the ground was hard and was covered with dried turds (later to be reconstituted beautifully in the rain.. yum yum...) never mind, I was in good spirits…the others were less impressed…bored and sober…that was to change…

Eventually…after some business with a car and a nasty accident modicum and Caliban et al turned up…jack, ever the Larry decided that our ring of tents was not big enough and moved into the mud and shit nearer the fence…we however decided to stay where we were…only metres from them all anyway…

So, there we all were…first night…as the night drew in people all around lit fires and filled the air with Tripp smoke…it was indeed a beautiful time… The anticipation of great things… Morgan and me shared a beautiful weed creation with our comrades around a reluctant but impressive campfire…

Now, you’re all going to shout at me and curse for this. But one of the highlights of my festival was Oasis…they arrived on Day 2…

We woke up…a little tired from the obligatory late night…and observed the scene. What was once an empty field was now packed with tents…. every bloody colour of the rainbow… what a site!! It wasn’t until about 2pm that we actually made it into the arena…after all the bands isn’t the only thing at reading…

We entered to the sound of the Doves…our first encounter with the arena was triumphant… what a stage…what a setting…what a fuck load of people!! We wandered around to the Dubs…half listening half not… it was not until Limp Bizkt that the action started. The set was fantastic…Fred was not afraid to rip the piss out of anything and everything. Previously uninitiated to their music…I’m now a bit of a fan…the set was American to the end…cute and entertaining…the mosh I had to say, was not as mad as some I had entered before (yes, Oasis moshes DO exist…and ARE mental!) One of the trippiest moments of the festival was the release of all the sparkly bits of paper….very rock and roll (?) it was in this mosh that Morgan managed to lose my camera and we thought it was a gonna..this is why there are no photos in the interim….amzingly we found it again…practically unharmed.. and that fucking amzing considering the amount of people in thatc rowd jumping up and down. The pictures im sure will be added to this account.

Nest big band to see the Foos…another band im unfamiliar with..they captivated the audience and gave a good set..

I missed Primal scream, only catching Swastica Eyes…shame, I think they were good…what was I doing?….who knows…

At last the set of Oasis…Morgan, having promised to stay for this set threw a Larry in the first song and ahd to return to the tent…aww…bless…

Hardly a scrap and full of their usual humour Liam was, as always yelling for the girls to get their tits out…I thought mine not worthy for his site…lol

We returned to the tent…larryish behaviour ensued.

NOW, its at these points that the nights start to merge into one…perhaps it’d be best for me to try and descibe some of the things that occurred…but don’t sue me if I get the nights wrong!!

I also cant remember which night it was that Trippy arrived….all I know is that Morgan and I set off to the gate in search of John…with blaggery and what can only be descibed as charm he had made it to reading town and aquired a friend…a female friend…at last we thought… Trippy has a girlfriend!!! Unfortunately she was a little strange…she didn’t “believe” in technology….that aside, she was very nice, and made entrance to the site possible for Trip….read the extended version in his own account…

We had to walk miles to find this girls camp…me and Morgan gave up once we had got about  mile down the road down the campsite…it was the first time I appreciated how fucking HUGE reading is… and how lucky we were to be so near the arena.

I think it was Saturday that…low on funds we ventured into reading itself..to stock up on that most essential of items… FOOD!

Cold dogs were the order of the day (think hot dogs and morph) as well as vast amounts of lemonade and a nice bottle of Vodka….add this to a substantial amount of weed and we had the recipe for a fantastic time..

Bands that stood out on Saturday were Defttones….absolutely mad…not really my taste but worth the experience…Gomez blew me away…the music stirred my soul and we grooved out way into Beck….a bloody fantastic guy with so much stage charisma you can smell it…or was that Morgan’s feet? I dunno, that wonderful boyfriend only took two tops with him for the entire festival…and as for socks…we dread to remember…

Headliners Pulp made a triumphant comeback their new songs including “Sunrise” and “Weeds” were good, but the crowd really loved the oldies best…opening with common people…what could be better. Jarvis was lucid…happy and entertaining, he was climbing all over the set… fantastic!

On Saturday night we got a little bored…so we decided to play with fire. My friend Phil, ever the pyromaniac and entertainer did the usual breathing fire and buring hair stuff but hankered afetr something more satisfying..theres only so many times people will laugh at you melting your eyelashes….the answer came in the form of an aerosal can and a campfire. 1+1= absolutely fucking amazing explosion that blew our fire apart, peppering Phils sleeping bag, alsomst sending tents up and spreading our fire all over our circle. As the mushroom cloud erupted into the air we stood back and basked in the appreciation and roao of our adoring fans….we would have done it again and again…but people were reluctant to give away their aerosols…probably a good idea considereing the odeours I encountered when leaving reading…

That aside we talked endlessly about stupid stuff…..to strangers…consumed drugs and alcohol..got high…took blowbacks (in my case a particually nice Marlbourgh  blowback.. oh well….i was too stoned to notice) generally ran around…got lost coming back from the toilets in the dark…had to fetch drunk friends who had got lost in the dark (thank god for mobile phones)… etc etc etc and all the other stupid things u do at reading….

Third and final day.

Daphne and Celeste….wow….what a great feeling. The mosh was the one time I felt truly united with the crowd…I talked to absolute strangers and complimented them on their choice of projectiles. I saw tomatoes, eggs, bottles of what must have been urine, microwave meals…..and  a knife (trippy)…as thousands raised their middle fingers in perfect unison and hailed abuse at the terrible duo, we rejoiced, as one, a stand against the fake, facile music that dominates popular music today…

Rage, Morgan’s highlight were pretty amazing, a shame they didn’t play wake up….but otherwise a blinding set. Kim and I made our way pretty much to the front attracting attention because we were…yes…FEMALE! We stood and chatted about nonsensical crap while all other emmbers of the audience stood in stoney boring silence…we also found quite a bit of money on the floor…only problem the hoards of sweaty naked people…EUGHHH!!

Slipknot were too terrible to endure.

Placebo, although a fave of mine,w ere dissapointing, like it was all a bit of a chore to them, no dialogue between songs on ly the droning anouncement of the song titles. All Brian Molko could manage before Nancy Boy was “no prizes for guessing this one”…..yawn

It was after placebo that the bottle fight behind the screen erupted, alledgedly started by one James Ireland…it was helped in part by one Morgan Brewer…we on the other hand huddled around paper beer cup fires in the arena…

We opted for the Ian Brwon option for our final band of Reading 2000, and werent dissapointed, a great show of the old mans brilliance, who could mistake that voice, a little dissapointed considering we missed Tom Jones on with the Phonics, but never mind.

Last night at camp Worcester… a little hazy… more explosions…I generally remember talking absolute shit the whole night, drinking vodka, and toking our stash away…dancing and singing…

All I can really say for sure that it was bloody brilliant and a bit mad…

We emerged on Monday morning looking absoluetly shit to be fair. I may allow Morgan to post the picture of us two that morning .i may not…

 We dragged ourselves to the station….and away

Don’t worry….a la cheesy movie stylee.. Ill be back.

Reading Highlights:

J   The trippy smoky haze and sunset on the first evening.

J   Buying food in town and cheating those food stall bastards

J   The free food Christian stall.

J   Will and his caution for “possession of a cannabis cigarette.

p      The naked jumping fire guy (I missed him, but it was supposedly very amusing)

p      The people who swang on the lamp-posts and eventually brought them down.

p      Jack scrounging for drugs…always fun to watch.

p      Jarvis Cocker climbing on the rig.

p      Throwing anything and everything at Daphne and Celeste.

*      Seeing Morgan sport the latest in bin-bag wear

*      Seeing Morgan sport a free orange kagool

*      Seeing Morgan Larry at every available opportunity.

*      Seeing Morgan do poppers

*      Seeing trippy walk into the campsite

*      Seeing Trippy walk into the arena

*      Vast - Free being played on the big screens around the main stage

8      Getting a drink of water after each mosh

8      Laughing at the posh people in the camp to one side

8      Watching all the stuff we put in our fire explode and then watching all the people cheer and applaude our effort.

8      Lying to the stewards when they come to investigate the explosions….hehehe

8      Laughing at the fact that there was ANOTHER Morgan camped in our circle

8      Laughing at Jack, Will Caliban etc when their camp became a mud pit

8      Making fire

8  Finding new boots at a second hand stall after one of my shoes was stolen in the night

8  Burning my remaining shoe

8  Waltzing around the fire with Hazel while miming the playing of various instuments with Phil

8  Getting free beer

8  Watching the Clint Boon Experience play “White no Sugar”

é  Eating cold dogs for breakfast lunch and dinner…maybe that wasn’t a highlight…

é  Drinking vodka for breakfast lunch and dinner

é  Watching the sun come out during RATM’s set

é  Finding my camera in the Limp Bizkit mosh

é  Finding money in the Rage mosh

é  Watching people emerge from their tents in the mornings.

8  Toking all the time…..day or night….

8  And thus being stoned….often!!