After being pissed off with the fact that they couldn't be arsed to work
at the Kays factory any longer, without something fun to do outside
of packing envelopes for wankers in a horrible factory, John-Josephus Murray and Jonatron Matthew David Cording had the idea of forming
a band that was originaly going to be called "Lets be Twats." This
idea involved dressing up in stupid clothes and playing as badly as possible dressed like they had just left a lunatic asylum. They also planned to distribute bread amongst the crowd.

For a while the idea was but only "engleburt in the nesbitron" until
Ben Langdon (of The Penetraitors fame) said yes to our request, and put us on headlining a gig at The Apple Tree (now The Firefly). The bread ensured that everyone was to be banned from playing there
ever again and no one got any money despite ramming the pub with people (Pewy, the emotional cunt of a manager is our favourite
"friend" yay !!)

They played another gig as a two piece, until they discovered Clitoris Boutros Gali passed out on the sofa of the wonderful squat in
St. Johns, and when he finally awoke, they had a jam.

So time passes by, and the Pijin decide to buy a big white van off eBay. A few weeks pass, with this van just waiting to be taken on a
road trip. It isn't long before we see the guys driving off in their van... the last words they spoke...

WE'RE OFF TO EUROPE! BOLLOX TO EVERYTHING, FUCK THE "SCENE" AND LETS BE TWATS!

And nobody ever heard from them again...
...until some time later when one at a time, they returned. Except for Clit. The band was now a twosome again. It wasn't long, however, before Non Joblet was found, and he quickly became the second
third member of The Toxic Pijin.

The Toxic Pijin once again set about causing chaos and distributing
all manners of messy things to an unsuspecting, but often joining
in crowd, until Non realised that albumen makes you retch, and decieded enough was enough.

The Toxic Pijin are a two-piece once more, (although Clit reappeared for a few weeks in december he went back to live in holland for a bit)... they have recently been fabricating new material such as polyester, latex and nylon.