I AM CALIBAN

I wait for the future
I've lived through the past
I would live forever
But i just can't be arsed
I go down the pub
They all know my name
It used to be different
But now it's the same

What will Ibecome?
Ahero? a god?
Though people's reactions
Show they think i'm odd
Well who gives a toss?
They don't know my plan
To rule all the world
As King Caliban...

So wait for the future
Remember the past
A guy named Neil Walford
That's me, first and last
And next you see me
For once you will care
You'll say 'For Christ's sake Neil
You should cut you hair'

CALIBAN THE STUD

I go out to town
Where the girls stop and stare
They see my fit body
And my dark spiky hair
They look at my goatee
And want to get near
All my hairy features
Don't give them fear

The way things are going
And that is alright
I should get a shag
Every other night
I couldn't be better
I'll sit and drink bud
The ladies, they want
Caliban the stud.

KING CALIBAN

My name is Neil Walford
Or just Caliban
Don't call me Clive
Or Rob, or Stan
I sit at my PC
Working away
I'll finish my website
Well maybe someday

I never give up
I never give in
I'll never let go
I'll never sin
For i am near perfect
Caliban is my name
I'll finish this now
Before rhymes are the same...

THE BALLAD OF CALIBAN

I am Caliban
King since i was born
I surf on the net
Then wank over porn
The gang bangs are sexy
They do turn me on
Spuff in a chalice
Then down it in one

I sit in my room
Then think of when i
Will be king again
My favour will fly
The girls have now seen
Just what i can do
I'm open to offers
You can come too

Ihave a brown fleece
For when it gets cold
It still keeps me warm
Considering it's old
I'll drink like a fish
Well, more like a newt
But i have a website
And E-mail to boot

So think of me now
Working away on caliban's world
All night and all day
The stories are fun
The pictures are here
And i still haven't shaved
Since sometime last year

The ballad of Cal
That's how this thing started
I'll get to the point
Unless it departed
You all know me well
And when I am dead
Girls will shed tears
For they gave me head

Time to wrap up
A and finish this now
I'll think of a rhyme
Somewhere, somehow
Time has run out
I look at the clock
I'll go and watch wrestling
And pretend I'm the Rock.

THE FUN WE HAD

Oh the fun we had
That day when we sailed
Far 'cross the sea
Through wind and through hail
Reaching a land
Not touched yet by man
Leading the crew,
A strong Caliban

We searched and we sighed
For nothing was found
The jungles were empty
And so was the ground
We boarded the boat
And set sail for home
But Caliban stayed
On the island alone...

GOOD TIMES

I remember days so tender
There was a girl, and i would send her
Many nice things, stuff that i'd blag
I really loved her, though she was a slag
Back at my room, tower block Brum
We got together, then Isaw her bum
Totally shocked, i gave her a slap
That pair of pink peaches, were covered in crap

Caliban yes that is true
That's my name from me to you
Caliban too much to say
I'm still the same, tomorrow, today
Caliban i have the balls
I know you're coming, i hear your calls
Caliban my voice is tinny
All because of a girl named... Ginny

THE IMPORTANT CREDIT PART
As you may have guessed Caliban didn't write these poems, In fact it was none other than Richard Levins. As you can see Rich is rather good at this poetry malarky so put your hands together please!

Hopefully there will be more poetry soon, Poetry inspired by Caliban, perhaps not. Who knows?